Redefine Your Relationship with Alcohol: Unpopular Opinion on Living a Sober Lifestyle
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The science is clear. Alcohol appears to have zero health benefits. Nearly every coach, speaker, and wellness influencer today is swearing off alcohol and telling you to do the same.
The benefits of a sober lifestyle are undeniable, especially if drinking causes you to make poor choices, act in ways you’re embarrassed about, or slows your progress towards achieving your goals.
But I’m not a fan of making lifestyle choices solely based on trends or because your favorite podcaster told you that you can’t be healthy or successful unless you live your life the way they do.
The attention to living a sober lifestyle for people who are not struggling with addiction has done far more good than harm in the people’s lives who implemented it. However, there are quite a few people, including myself, who have been pushed into the lifestyle because of scare tactics and shame.
After participating in Dry January, I got the chance to redefine my relationship with alcohol and decide for myself what works best for my body.
PSA: This is my personal experience with alcohol and my goal is only to encourage you to make choices that are best for YOU.
By strengthening your relationship with yourself and learning to listen to your body, you can stop falling victim to every new health trend and instead live your best-feeling life on your terms.
(My perspective is mine alone. If you are struggling with addiction, do not take my opinions as advice. Please seek help from a professional.)
Benefits of an Alcohol Break
No matter what your relationship with alcohol is, I only see benefits from taking a break every once in a while.
A break gives you a chance to connect with your body and analyze your relationship with the substance.
During the break ask yourself:
— When do you notice cravings? What can you replace that time of day with to satisfy you?
— Do you feel a difference in your energy? Productivity? Motivation?
— Do you feel a difference in your mood?
If you don’t take the break as an opportunity to reset your body and listen to what it wants, then your relationship with the substance won’t change. The break will just be a period of restriction which will cause you to go right back to old habits when your given time frame is up.
To keep all the benefits of the break, see if you can use the questions above to discover your unconscious behaviors. Then choose what feels best for you.
Do you always crave a glass of wine while cooking? During the break replace that with lemon water or tea. When your break is over, continue with a non-alcoholic drink during that cooking time. Then if you still want a glass once your food is ready, go for it and slowly savor each sip.
A lot of times substance use is all about old habits. Instead of always having a drink at a certain time, replace the habit with something else. Then only drink alcohol when you know you really want to enjoy it mindfully.
Recognizing your patterns around drinking is a major key to unlocking what you’re truly needing underneath the craving.
If you found during the break that you felt more productive on the weekends without alcohol, then keep that going. Choosing to drink just because it’s the weekend is not a good reason. Instead, use your free time for you.
Once you’re feeling amazing and like you had a productive day, if you choose to enjoy a drink mindfully with yourself, friends, or family to enhance your connection, it might feel more purposeful instead of like a negative, shameful act.
Don’t Conform to the Group
Drinking culture thrives on people’s desire to fit in and feel belonging.
People make how much you drink into a competition. They’ll say you’re lame if you can't drink enough, but you’re embarrassing when you drink too much.
It's a lose-lose situation.
Now with sober lifestyles gaining popularity in the wellness industry, the shame and conformity continue, this time with the idea that you are lazy, unhealthy, or a loser if you drink at all.
You will never feel happy with your life if you make lifestyle choices based on what others appear to be doing. You will be on a hamster wheel of always waiting for the next trend to tell you that you are living your life wrong.
There’s no agency in that. Here’s the secret…
Everyone who’s telling you that this new practice or tool will change your life is lying. No one outside of yourself knows what will make you feel best. The best someone can do is share their experience and give you the authority to choose whether you’d like to try it. Then decide how it feels for yourself and let everyone live however they want.
Do not allow the group to dictate your choices. If you know that you feel best when you do not drink, then order a mocktail while out with friends.
If drinking enhances your experience and your connections, choose drinks and situations that feel best for you.
Elevate Your Experience
With any consumption, practicing mindfulness is key. How does each drink, food, TV show, etc., feel in your body?
Once I started to pay attention to how drinking made me feel, I realized that drinking my usual vodka water with lemon was not the vibe. When I was young I used it more as a means to get drunk and escape my life, not to enhance my experience in the present.
Once I discovered self-love, I realized that I didn’t want to escape my life, I wanted to enjoy it. Hard liquor did not feel good. I never found a way to appreciate the artistry and enjoy the burn of hard liquor of any kind.
Going wine tasting became one of my favorite hobbies and I easily see the beauty in the entire experience.
The culture around wineries is so romantic and pleasurable. You are encouraged to take your time. Smell deeply, sip slowly, and savor each and every flavor profile.
Not only is it fun, but drinking wine feels like it enhances my connections with people and is an activity we all enjoy together. After visiting many wineries, I gained an interest in the winemaking process and lifestyle.
This is where the mindfulness piece comes in. When you taste at too many places in one day, you lose the experience as the flavor becomes harder to find. The key is to stop yourself before your buzz takes away your taste buds and instead head home to cook a beautiful meal to continue the experience.
Also, not all wine is created equal.
As I learned from different winemakers, I realized that most of the wine sold is filled with nasty chemicals and additives that feel horrible in my body. Now with just a sniff of wine, I can usually tell if it is natural or not.
Become a ‘Qualitarian’
To practice self-love, I commit to only consuming high-quality products from the Earth. This is what feels best for me.
Wine can be a difficult industry to navigate. Producers are not required to share what goes into each bottle and are allowed to use a massive list of harmful chemicals without disclosing them to consumers.
In any wine that I drink, I look for biodynamic farming practices which include using Earth's natural elements to create an ecosystem ideal for growing.
A winery that does things naturally and allows the Earth to do its thing with the wine is best. Ask the winemaker if their farm is free of pesticides. Weed-eating or using sheep to graze on the weeds instead of spraying them ensures that your wine isn’t full of harmful pesticides.
Dry farming practices show that the winery works with nature instead of intervening with irrigation. When a climate is perfect for growing, you won’t need any man-made watering system to grow the best crops. Nature knows what to do and this practice shows that the winery has chosen an ideal location for growing and they honor nature’s ability to do what it does best.
Only drinking estate-grown wine is something I require so I know the high standards of the farm are what is in my bottle. MANY wineries sell wine using grapes they purchase from someone else. It is possible that the winery who is buying grapes vetted the farming practices to ensure they are aligned, but I find it safer to only drink from farms I trust.
Not all natural wines have the “organic” label because it is a long, process of testing to receive certification. Buying certified organic wines means that both the grapes and the processing to turn the grapes into wine must be free of synthetic fertilizers and pass strict testing for toxic chemicals. This is a safe option if you don’t have access to the winemaker to ask about their practices.
Creating the Experience With a Sober Lifestyle
I’ve found that what works best for me is drinking small amounts of natural wine. It enhances my life, increases my connection with family and friends, and provides pleasure.
Discovering how to mindfully enjoy the luxurious experience of wine, without drinking too much and suffering the consequences has been life-changing.
I was influenced into Dry January with the thoughts that it would massively increase my productivity and be the key to unlocking major growth and expansion. For me, it didn’t. My productivity was equivalent to what it is when I drink occasional glasses of natural wine and go wine tasting a day or two a month.
That is not the case for everyone. For some, alcohol contributes to procrastination and poor choices. It is up to you to find what contributes to your best life.
If you choose to let go of alcohol indefinitely or you are simply choosing to not drink every single day, creating a pleasurable experience without alcohol is essential.
You can sex up a sober evening by experimenting with mocktail recipes or finding a new nightcap that feels amazing.
Everyone loves to sip on something yummy while winding down from a busy day. Curate the experience to feel the satisfaction of indulging in a delicious end-of-day drink, without the side effects.
Instead of just cracking open a boring can of something, shake up a mocktail in your cocktail shaker and pour it into a cocktail glass to give you all the joy without the alcohol.
For more relaxed evenings, a warm drink soothes me into a restful night. I love hot water with lemon and ginger, piping hot loose-leaf tea, or a decaf espresso to sip while I read on the couch.
Finding what brings you pleasure outside of alcohol helps you connect more deeply with your inner self, strengthening your ability to only consume alcohol when you’re absolutely sure it will only benefit you.
For exclusive updates about the release of my upcoming wellness guide, where I’ll share mocktail recipes and where I find the best natural wine, drop your email below.
🤍 Jaclyn
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