Do You Have a Toxic Relationship With Your Body? How to Heal and Love Your Body More
Your body holds so much– emotions, past experiences, trauma…
Are you fully tapped into the power your body holds?
Or, have you been punishing your body for not living up to a certain standard?
As a personal development enthusiast, I’ve listened to hundreds of women who’ve struggled to truly love and respect their bodies.
During my own healing journey, I learned to stop punishing myself with exercise and begin loving my body– the results have been life-changing.
As a former competitive gymnast, my relationship with my body was rooted in striving for perfection and using exercise to punish myself for not looking the way I wanted.
As a young gymnast, I had adults telling me that I would never win competitions unless I lost weight. At the same time, I had boys at school make fun of me for having a muscular body.
Feeling confused and miserable, I wanted to quit. But there was a fear engrained in us gymnasts that if we ever quit the sport, we would get fat.
Yes– that was really what adults told us as kids and teens. Plus they used other former gymnasts as examples to prove their point.
After countless injuries and paralyzing mental blocks, I quit gymnastics and carried my anxiety about gaining weight with me. I filled my days with:
“Boot camp” workouts
Running on the treadmill for hours
Joining a cheerleading team
And going to every tumbling class and open gym I could fit into my schedule
With all this exercise you’d probably think I was losing weight like crazy. Nope.
The constant state of stress I lived in and the hate I directed toward my body actually caused me to gain weight.
I felt hopeless, insecure, and uncomfortable.
Looking back now, I can clearly see how my past experiences contributed to the negative mindset that caused me so much pain during my teens and early 20s. But when you’re in it, you don’t even realize that anything’s wrong.
It feels normal to live feeling uncomfortable and disconnected from your body.
It wasn’t until years later through therapy and other personal development work, I found gentler, more nurturing forms of movement. I finally discovered the joy and freedom exercise could bring.
And the moment I started feeling this peace and love for my body, my body relaxed and began to physically look the way I had always wanted it to.
To have your desired body physically, you must find love and respect for it first.
Exploring mindful movement as a form of self-care, self-expression, and self-discovery has the power to drastically improve your life.
Here’s what you need to know so you can find the same inner peace which will allow you to shine from the inside out:
Heal Your Relationship With Your Body With Mindfulness
Healing your relationship with your body and cultivating a mindful movement practice allows your body to release any negativity held inside. This frees your mind from toxic thought patterns.
Everyone has some kind of trauma in their past that’s locked inside their body if they don’t learn how to free themselves from it.
When past experiences or current stress feels too overwhelming, you tend to disconnect from your body because it doesn't feel safe.
For some, this disconnection begins as a young child and you grow into an adult never truly feeling the experience of living in tune with your body.
As disconnected adults, you’ll feel the need to numb out through:
Overconsuming alcohol
Binge eating
Engaging in harmful relationships
Mindless scrolling on social media
Punishing yourself with hate-filled HIIT workouts
Many people don’t know what living aligned and connected to your body is like– I didn’t until my mid-20s.
To heal your relationship with your body, you’ll need to slow down.
Allow your body to relax from the state of stress that’s become unnoticeable. You can do this by taking three slow, deep breaths…
Inhale… exhale… inhale… exhale… inhale… exhale…
How does your body feel now?
Can you listen carefully and hear your body speaking to you?
When you calm your nervous system and check-in, your body will tell you what it needs.
Do you feel hungry, tired, sore, or like you need to get up and go for a walk?
Practicing mindfulness and giving your body what it asks for is a beautiful way to build trust with your body and find safety within yourself.
When you notice that you feel stressed, sad, angry, or negative in any way it’s especially important to move those emotions out of your body.
Move your body with love to release anything that doesn’t feel good.
This practice helps you reclaim your power and feel confident.
Move Your Body With Love
Before we get into some ways to move your body with love, first ask yourself…
What is your current movement routine?
Are you a runner? Weight lifter? Stairmaster pro?
Are you struggling to move at all?
None of these are particularly bad or wrong ways to exercise. But, the most important point of this is to ask yourself…
How do I feel about myself when I’m doing these activities?
If the answer is– I hate it. Feels terrible. I just have to get through it. I can’t stand to look at myself during it. Or anything like that, that’s likely not the movement routine that’s helpful for you.
I hit my breaking point during an Orange Theory workout class a couple of months after starting therapy.
Again, nothing wrong with Orange Theory gyms if the classes feel good for you.
For me, during that class for the first time ever, I caught myself in the middle of my automatic negative thoughts rolling. I realized I had spent the entire first 40 minutes of the class looking at myself in the mirror and bashing everything about how I looked.
It was a huge win to finally notice the hate I was spuing at myself and choose to knock it off.
After this experience, I found mindful movement practices that help me feel love for my body as I exercise.
Yoga was the first practice I found that provided the most noticeable benefits. Yoga helps you tune inward and focus on your breath moving through your body. Visualizing your breath clearing out any negative energy in your body is extremely healing.
Trying challenging postures, balancing, and stretching in unique ways while moving with your breath— results in incredible physical and mental health benefits.
Try Boho Beautiful Yoga. Their classes help you feel as if you’ve escaped to a beautiful vacation spot and are flowing with nature.
Pilates is powerful because you’ll feel the burn while intentionally moving your body with precision. In pilates, the mindfulness aspect is there because you’re focused on targeting one specific part of your body and you’re encouraged to breathe directly into that area.
Pilates helps you challenge your muscles while practicing presence.
Jump rope, jump on a trampoline, or DANCE to experience childlike energy and fun. Loving your body means you should enjoy being in it! Jumping around or dancing will make you smile and feel true bliss while your moving.
That’s the goal, right?
Experiencing more joy and fun each day is so good for helping you feel SO GOOD.
If you’re a little iffy about dancing around by yourself– like me– I love MWH dance videos. They’re fun and great for beginners.
Remember it’s all about enjoying your body, not being perfect.
Use their 7-day free trial to see if it’s right for you.
Walking in the past has been so underrated. I don’t know about you, but I used to feel like if I wasn’t panting, out of breath, or dripping with sweat then it was a waste of a workout.
Thankfully I realized that’s not true.
Walking is so good for your body and it provides a beautiful opportunity to practice gratitude, curiosity, and mindfulness while moving.
While you’re walking, keep your head up, breathe deeply, and notice the beauty around you. You might begin to feel thankful for where you live or the wonderful company of your dog or friend that might join you.
Even going for a quick 10-minute walk gives me a boost of energy. Try it next time you have a lunch break at work or when you realize you’ve been scrolling on your phone for too long.
A quick walk is like an energizing reset to get you back to feeling your best.
Stretching is a beautiful way to show your body love and practice self-care. There’s nothing better than laying on the ground, giving your body a much-needed release.
Stretching allows you to slow down, touch and feel your body deeply as you try to relax into the stretches.
A few minutes on the ground stretching can change your state and boost your energy.
I’ll sometimes get carried away after a great stretching sesh and tap into my old gymnast ways by doing handstands and cartwheels in the living room. That’s all because of how incredible my body feels after taking time to slow down and sink into some stretches.
Play is my last loving movement to share which can look many different ways. My fiancé and I started playing tennis together and it’s been fun to run around and experience a new activity together.
Connect with a friend or loved one and join that adult soccer league, hit the batting cages, go golfing– whatever you're into– your body will love it.
Plan Your Mindful Movement Routine
Everyone has different experiences in their body so what works for me, might not feel best for you.
To find answers to what kind of movement your body will love, ask yourself:
What did you learn about body image from your parents? Are those lessons helpful? Or is it time to release them?
When was the last time you really felt in tune with your body? What brings that out in you?
How do you honestly feel about going to the gym or group workout classes? What does your body tell you while you’re there?
In my experience, I always felt anxiety working out in public. I was never able to relax or enjoy the workout because I was stressed about what the people around me would think.
Working out at home has so many benefits and yes, you absolutely can be fit and achieve the body you want while never going to the gym.
When you work out at home you are in your element which allows you to get into that flow state without distraction.
You can roll out of bed in your pajamas and start moving in comfort. No barriers like picking out the perfect gym outfit, driving across town, or being late to a class can stop you from your movement routine.
It’s time to design a movement plan that’s right for you.
Decide where you feel best– at home, at a gym, or in nature.
Choose one mindful movement practice that you’re interested in or jump into that activity you thought of when I asked you about the last time you felt in tune with your body.
The best time to start is now.
How to Love Your Body More
Showing your body love and kindness allows it to relax and feel better.
When your body feels good, it begins to show up physically the way you desire.
Learning to enjoy and appreciate your body more helps you build a loving connection with yourself and feel more confident. Do this by taking time to touch, massage, rub, and hug your own body.
Slowing down to savor the present moment and find gratitude for the person you are now, only helps you launch into the person you’re working to become.
When you live connected and aligned with your body in this way, your body will love and respect you back.
For more support on how to change your mindset, click here.
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