Never Be Bored Again: 7 Activities to Do With Yourself to Become Your Own Best Friend
This one’s for my girlies who are in that in-between stage.
You’re out of school and all your friends moved to different places.
You think about planning a trip to go visit, but half of them are still partying at the bars until 4 a.m. like we were in college– that’s not your scene anymore.
The other half is married with children— you don’t want to intrude on their entire family just to get some girl time.
You’re in between. And you don’t have that girl gang you once did.
Guess what… That’s okay.
There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s completely normal to feel weird about your social life looking different when you enter the real adult world after school.
The first time I realized this and felt it was normal to lose most of your friends when you start your career was when I heard Mel Robbins on Call Her Daddy.
She shares how normal it is for friendship to completely change through different phases of life.
It’s confusing and hurtful when people who are close to you don’t celebrate you when you change. Truthfully that’s only because your change brings out their insecurities.
It feels lonely when you feel disconnected from your friends.
The always motivating and inspiring, Mel woke something up in me.
I thought,
You know what… I’ve never had this much alone time and I want to actually enjoy spending time with myself.
There’s no one in the world that you’ll spend more time with than yourself, but most people do everything they can to distract themselves from their time alone.
Listen up ladies! It’s time to become your own best friend.
Here are 7 activities I practice with myself to deepen my relationship with me. Because of these, now I’m my favorite person to hang out with— Goodbye FOMO. I don’t know her.
Reading
You can’t be stressed or lonely when you’re reading a good book.
A good novel is like an escape from reality and a vacation for your mind. You’re so involved in the story your brain fires with creativity and excitement.
An inspiring nonfiction book helps you feel good about yourself because you’ll learn and plan the steps you want to take to become your best self.
Reading is one of the best activities to do alone because you really can’t do it if you have the distraction of other people.
You might be thinking, TV is relaxing because you get wrapped up in the story, just like a book. Here’s why that’s not exactly true.
You have to give your full attention when reading to understand the words and you can't be distracted by things that make you feel bad about yourself.
When you’re home alone and you decide to watch The Real Housewives because you think mindless TV with grown women fighting like teenagers will make you feel better about your life, be honest with me…
In the first 10 seconds of the show, what are you actually doing?
Scrolling on social media
Feeling bad about everyone in the world thriving on their European summer vacay
Thinking…
– Why does my life suck so bad?
– I have no friends
– I’m broke
– Maybe I should text that old friend from college who was filled with drama and stress. At least then I had a little excitement going on
NO. NO. NO MA’ AM.
We’re not doing that. We’re lighting a candle, cuddling with our dog, putting our feet up the wall, and READING.
Ahh yes. That feels nice. TRUST ME.
Plus reading makes you feel better about yourself. You’ll feel:
Accomplished
Inspired
More creative
More engaged in conversations with people
Let the stories and inspirations take you awayyyyyyyyy. A secret place (a secret place) A sweet escape! Take me away…
Okay moving on.
Some books I recommend are:
Brazen: My Unorthodox Journey from Long Sleeves to Lingerie by Julia Hart
The Law of Attraction by Esther and Jerry Hicks
A Return To Love by Marianna Williamson
You Can Heal Your Life by Louis Hay
How To Break Up With Your Friends by Erin Falconer
2. Walking in Nature With Your Buddy— A Podcast
I owe podcasts credit for shifting my mindset which in turn, helped me be happy spending days with myself.
I was absolutely behind on the trend, but I finally gave podcasts a try during the summer of 2022.
I binged all the Call Her Daddy episodes that are on Spotify– Yes, I missed the whole scandalous breakup, but who cares, team Father Cooper all the way.
Before I found podcasts, I was one of those girls who had to have the TV on 24/7 while I was at home…
Cooking dinner
Showering
Eating
Doing homework
Laying in bed trying to fall asleep
The Real Housewives of every city were the background noise of my life.
Everyone knows the stat that you are a combination of the 5 people you spend the most time with. What I didn’t realize was this also counts for people you listen to and watch, even though you don’t know them in real life.
Before podcasts, I drank way too often, spent time with friends gossiping, and argued with loved ones always thinking I was right— A lot like the housewives on TV.
When I got my puppy, I started going out on a lot of walks. It felt pretty nice breathing fresh air and catching the gorgeous orange sky at sunrise, but I’ll be honest… at first, I couldn’t turn off my housewife comfort zone.
I’d listen to the show as it played on my phone in my pocket during the walk.
Luckily, I found Call Her Daddy and it was entertaining enough that it took over my daily walking background noise.
I was so into it, I never turned it off.
Soon I started to embody that badass energy Alex Cooper has when talking with her guests. Then I was introduced to incredible speakers and thought leaders, like Mel Robbins.
I could relate so much to the topics they were discussing, and they were handling situations in a way that no one in my life did.
When I switched to podcasts, my whole personality changed.
I took on the qualities of the strong women I listened to– Lauryn Bosstick from The Skinny Confidential, Alex Cooper’s Call Her Daddy, Krista and Lindsey from Almost 30.
From listening to them I became:
More creative and motivated
Obsessed with healthy habits and routines
Aware of having an abundance mindset
Inspired to start my own business and accomplish more in my life than I ever thought I could
Having an inspiring or educational podcast fill the background noise of your life helps you easily become the type of person you want to be.
It also helps you understand how truly important it is to be intentional with the content you consume because it really does impact you.
Listening to podcasts and spending more time in nature eventually led me to the point where I’m able to enjoy a meal alone, in silence, without background noise, because I’ve learned how to be present and take care of myself by listening to how others did the same.
Podcasts I love are:
3. Vision Board Book
The best way to improve your relationship with yourself is to get clear on what you want in life.
— What gets you excited, inspired, motivated?
— What are your dreams?
— What are you working towards?
First, you need to stop letting social media control you.
Instead, get super intentional with the content you consume and audit who you follow. When you hand pick only inspiring and uplifting accounts, the images you see on social media will spark your creativity.
I started saving images I liked in a folder on my Instagram and a board on Pinterest.
I organize these images by theme…
Dream home
Dream vacation
Peaceful everyday lifestyle
Wedding
Quotes that resonate with me
Then I upload all these images to the Canva App and choose a photo collage template.
Usually while listening to a podcast, I arrange the images into a collage on the app.
I used to be a person who said I didn’t have a creative bone in my body. I was an athlete, not an artist.
Now I know that’s not true.
All humans are creative. This hobby allows your creativity to flow out.
I try to make each collage a different aesthetic. For example, an Italian dinner party with lots of greenery, picnic vibes with a pink aesthetic, or a cozy day at home with a beige and white color scheme.
Once I make a few collages on Canva and save them to my camera roll, I print them out and glue them into a blank white book I bought on Amazon. Soon the book will be filled with a bunch of different vision boards from different times in my life and it can sit out as my own inspiring coffee table book.
When you spend time alone, exploring what images you’re attracted to helps you learn a lot about yourself so you can get a clear understanding of what your deepest desires are.
The more you learn about yourself, the stronger relationship you build with your true self.
This can be a private project that no one knows about so you’re free to express your true self, true interests, and true passions without fear of judgment from others.
Designing vison boards is a lot healthier and more fulfilling than scrolling mindlessly on social media.
The more you spend time visualizing your dream life, the more clarity you’ll gain on how to get to where you want to be.
4. Journaling
Journaling is another practice that allows you to deepen your connection with your true self– without fear of judgment.
When you journal, it’s like a strategy session with yourself. Here’s what you can ask yourself:
What are you working on?
What’s come up recently that showed you, you still have work to do in this area? — How can you approach a situation like this differently next time?
How do you define success?
What are your deepest desires?
What’s been making you happy lately?
What’s been draining you lately?
What are you looking forward to?
What is a book, podcast, or in person conversation that’s resonated with you lately? What ideas did it spark in you?
Having these conversations with yourself helps you get in tune with who you want to be.
So often, people have great ideas and plans for what they want to accomplish in life, but their daily tasks and to-do lists smash down their ideas so they end up forgetting.
We all know people who live with regret. One day they remember the great idea they had years before and are flooded with the hopes and dreams they had, but now think it’s too late.
Keeping a journal keeps you accountable to yourself.
When you have these grand ideas, write them down. The more you flip through your journal and come back to your ideas, the more likely the important stuff is to stay top of mind.
When your great idea is always top of mind, your brain goes to work for you. In the shower, on a walk, in the middle of your work day, you’ll get flashes of new ideas and plans for how you can move in the direction of your dream.
When you prioritize your own needs and desires your brain will get to work looking for what you can do to get to where you want to be.
My journaling practice has changed over time. I used to try to make each page look Pinterest-worthy so it’d be more fun and pleasing to look at.
I’d tape in pictures from my vision board and draw sketches of wildflowers, butterflies, and squiggles around the edges of each page.
Now most of the time, I just write and I don’t worry about messy handwriting.
Whatever makes it more fun and appealing for you, do it.
It’s also so normal to struggle with what to write. Some days you’ll easily fill up 3 pages. Others you sit down to write and be filled with resistance.
To help you, I wrote out a list of journal prompts I used for years here.
And don’t get discouraged if you fall out of the habit when you feel like everything is good or you don’t know what to write.
When this happens for me, I look for resources and prompts outside of my own.
Here’s a free resource from Yasmine Cheyenne when you signup for her newsletter. She’ll send 2 free journaling workbooks that help you create a consistent, daily journaling practice you’ll always look forward to.
5. Painting
I’m definitely not a skilled painter. I mentioned earlier how I rejected my creative abilities for most of my life so I’m also very out of practice.
During this journey to become my own best friend, I searched for ways to express myself and bring out this creativity that I previously pushed away.
I had a desire to eventually be able to go to the lake by my house, bring some paint, a blank canvas, and just create something beautiful.
But I knew if I tried to go from zero to professional painter, the reality would be more stressful and anger-inducing than the peaceful image I visualize.
So instead I ordered a few paint-by-number projects from Michaels to get started.
When the canvases arrived it was pretty overwhelming. The numbers are so tiny. It doesn’t look like it’s for beginners at all.
I decided to tackle it bit by bit.
Just pick a number and search, filling in all the little spaces with that number. Taking it a little at a time and not worrying about how long it’ll take allows you to just be in your flow.
You’ll lose track of time when painting. Now every single night without missing, after dinner I pull out my paint and fill in a few more spots.
It’s so satisfying and addicting when you see the canvas fill more and more with color as the painting comes together.
I’ve even taken this paint-by-number to the lake and it’s just as peaceful and satisfying as free painting appears to be. There’s no stress, just ease and flow.
The more you free your mind with activities like painting, the more peace you’ll experience in each day.
Evenings used to be prime time for my struggles with binge eating, mindless scrolling on social media, the urge to drink too many glasses of wine, or watch shows that bring out bad behavior in me…
Now all I look forward to all day is my time when I get to sit down and paint.
The peace it brings to your life is invaluable.
My partner noticed how much I enjoy this new hobby so he ordered a personalized paint-by-number that will turn out to be a painting of our family at the Christmas tree farm last year.
With this resource the opportunities are endless. You can paint your dog, your family, or your dream vacation spot.
The joy that comes from the time you spend working on something you care about is life-changing.
6. Meditative Movement
It’s impossible to enjoy time alone with yourself if you’re uncomfortable in or have hateful feelings toward your body.
When I found yoga, my relationship with my body completely changed.
It was the first time I felt I was in connection with my true self.
We’ve been trained that we have to move our bodies even when it hurts or we don’t want to. This makes movement feel like a chore that you dread, like doing the dishes or cleaning your bathroom.
If you grew up worried about having the perfect body, you might feel like you have to do workouts that punish and beat your body down just so you can look the way you want.
Punishing your body will never give you the results you want, at least not in the long term.
Our bodies are meant to move. When you move your body with love and with the intention of feeling good, it’s no longer a chore. You’ll start to crave it.
If you’re strong on your weightlifting journey and you’re working on getting outside your comfort zone to build muscle, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
But, your 1 hour a day gym session shouldn’t be the only movement you get in each week.
Schedule time with yourself where your only goal is to feel great and have fun.
Here are some meditative movements to try:
Yoga
I enjoy yoga because I can close my eyes and just move into positions that feel incredible for my body.
Dance
Blast your favorite song and really let loose.
Shake your body. Jump around. Whip your hair. Just move your body to the beat and feel the release as you allow yourself to move without worrying about if you look silly or not.
Hiking/walking in nature
I love walking with my dog somewhere beautiful. When we walk around the neighborhood, I search for flowers and trees I usually don’t notice when I’m not paying attention.
Going on a hike by the lake or to a waterfall is a beautiful way to spend a weekend morning.
If you want to be your own best friend, you have to build self-love and that means loving your body too.
You would never tell your best friend they look disgusting because they aren’t as thin as a high fashion model so don’t say it to yourself.
To enjoy time with yourself you have to feel safe and comfortable in your body. Meditative movement is the best way to get you there.
7. Cook or Bake Something Delish
Cooking and baking nourishing foods is a great way to get creative and feel amazing because you’ll know exactly what you’re putting into your body.
Spend a few minutes exploring Pinterest recipes then go to the market and choose the exact ingredients you want.
Pick up some flowers that you’re drawn to while you’re there just for fun.
I love to turn on Italian or Spanish instrumental music to set the vibe.
Take your time chopping the ingredients and thanking them for the energy and pleasure they’ll give you.
Get creative and don’t be afraid to experiment outside of what the recipe tells you.
When it’s time to eat, give yourself the 5 star restaurant treatment. It’s so easy when you’re alone to be lazy and try to use as little dishes as possible.
Trust me, as someone who used to eat pasta straight out of the pot to avoid cleaning one extra bowl, I get it.
But you deserve the best.
Set out your new flower arrangement, light a candle, and plate your food in a way that’s beautiful and fun for you.
Before you eat, take three deep breaths as you sit with your food. Notice the colors on your plate. Smell the aromas. And chew slowly, savoring each bite.
Sometimes I like to hold my fork with my non-dominant hand when I eat alone to make sure I take my time and enjoy the meal with myself.
Be Your #1 Favorite Person
Okay ladies there is no reason— and I mean none— to text your ex or make plans with those friends who make you feel bad about yourself once you’ve found the freedom in being your own best friend.
I hope by trying out these activities that work for me, you’ll explore your own interests and find your joy in spending time alone.
If you do, let me know in the comments what your favorite solo activity is to kill boredom and strengthen your relationship with yourself.
<3 Jaclyn
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