Level Up Your Personal Growth Journey: Key Insights from ‘The Mastery of Self’
As a personal development enthusiast, I’ve consumed thousands of podcasts, books, speeches, and online content intended to help people live up to their full potential.
When you’re in constant consumption mode, sometimes the most important messages somehow slip through the cracks.
In one ear and out the other.
When I read, ‘The Mastery of Self’, by Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. a couple of years ago I thought it was great.
Loved it. Breezed through it.
But as I decided to pick it up again last week to revisit, my mind was blown.
Don’t you just love those beautiful, magical, epiphany moments where life finally seems to make sense?
When I read this book near the beginning of my personal development journey, I was not yet ready to let the messages in the book sink in.
But now…
It resonates. I feel comforted by the Universe and optimistic about the fact that I get to build my dream life.
Maybe you’re here because these messages are exactly what you need to hear.
Or maybe this will be your chance to preview these messages and prep your mind to start noticing these little gems when they appear in your life…
Wherever you are, you are exactly where you’re meant to be.
Here are the key insights from, ‘The Mastery of Self’, that shifted my outlook on life.
Your Life Is All a Dream: The Secret to Personal Growth
The author begins by explaining life as a dream. In this dream, you’re at a party where everyone is drunk.
Everyone’s experience at the party is different depending on their level of drunkenness.
Most people don’t notice that you’re sober, as they can only focus on the drama of the party and try to draw you in.
This is the way life goes.
People are clouded by their past experiences, beliefs, and training.
Not only can they not see things from your perspective, but they try to push you to live life on their terms.
In my experience, the messaging I got in childhood was very much this way.
I was expected to fall in line and do what I was told. This training led me on a path to adulthood where I made college and career decisions based solely on what others encouraged me to do.
I lived life according to other people's terms—no clue who I was or what life I genuinely wanted to live.
Now I bask in the freedom of knowing that my life is just a dream where I have infinite opportunities to create anything I want.
Every choice you make leads you in the direction of where you want to go and it’s exciting to view even mundane everyday tasks as a step toward your desired life.
The author calls each person's life their Personal Dream. It’s much easier to gain clarity on your ultimate vision for your Personal Dream when in solitude.
Solitude is a powerful tool to connect with your true self and discover what purpose you came to Earth intending to fulfill.
However, most of us don’t choose to live in solitude because there’s so much joy in connection.
But when we go out and engage with the world, it’s increasingly more difficult to hold firm to your Personal Dream as people try to drag you into theirs.
The author calls our connection with the people around us The Dream of the Planet.
Navigating meaningful relationships with others, while staying true to your Authentic Self is how we contribute love and beauty to The Dream of the Planet.
Conditional Vs. Unconditional Love
From the moment you’re born, everyone does their part to domesticate you into becoming a person who they want you to be.
Your family, teachers, and friends try to get you to attach to certain beliefs or to identify with a certain group to fit in with their standards.
It’s life-altering to realize that much of your thoughts, beliefs, and values are not your own.
Once you gain awareness, that’s when the work begins to decide what beliefs, labels, and possessions your Authentic Self chooses to attach to.
Conditional love comes from people who say they love you only if you behave and live in a way that is pleasing to them. They don’t care how you feel inside, just as long as you keep everyone comfortable.
Some of you might experience this within the family when there are labels such as, “We’re a family who believes children should only be had by a husband and wife.”
That’s what you were told all your life and that’s a belief your family has grouped you into and claimed as your belief.
But… Maybe as you grow and experience life outside of your family home, you start to feel uncomfortable with the belief.
Maybe now you think that people should be free to live however they want and that their life choices are not threatening to your Personal Dream.
You’ll need to detach from that belief and stand true in who you are. If you feel like you have to hide your change and pretend to be the person your family wants you to be, you are engaging in conditional love.
You don’t love each other fully and deeply for exactly who you are. You’re engaging in love that is conditional on fitting in.
Unconditional love comes when people choose to love completely without any desire to change the other.
Allowing someone to create their own Personal Dream in the way that best serves them, not you, is unconditional love.
How Do You Speak to Yourself?
In ‘The Mastery of Self’, the author shares two voices in our heads that narrate our entire lives, the Ally and the Parasite.
The Ally speaks to you in a way that inspires you to live authentically and love unconditionally.
The Ally supports you and pushes you to create and live in alignment with your dream life.
The Parasite is the one who constantly reminds you of how you should live, according to what others want from you.
The Parasite reminds you that you can’t have everything you want. You can’t change your beliefs, and you won’t succeed if you go outside of the path you were told to stay on.
The Parasite tells you to suffer in silence.
Who are you letting speak to you?
For most of my life, I lived on automatic with the Parasite in full control. I felt powerless and like I had to fall in line, obeying what others told me to do while doubting my abilities.
Most of us do this without realizing which puts us in a vulnerable place where our happiness is conditional on our outside circumstances.
Once you understand that you can’t control other people, you can only love them and love yourself unconditionally, it’s like the weight of the world lifts off your shoulders.
Choosing to listen to the Ally, gifts you with a life full of unconditional love, adventure, confidence, and flow.
Living in Alignment With Your Ultimate Self
If you’re planning to live a joyful life, the practices and teachings in this book are a game-changer.
Especially if you’re choosing to step away from the “safety” of a job or lifestyle you dislike, but others encouraged you to keep…
Or choose to live a life of creativity where your work will be public and open to criticism…
This book will help you own who you are and build unshakable confidence and trust in yourself.
You no longer need to search for approval or acceptance from others.
When you discover your true self, make every decision with the intent of moving toward your dream life, and love unconditionally, you hold all the power.
As I prepare to publish my first book, I was overwhelmed with fear of what others might say about my life choices and the perspectives shared in my book.
I read ‘The Mastery of Self’ at the most perfect time to remind me of my commitment to myself to live my dream life. Anything I receive that is not unconditional love, is not any of my business.
I won’t be pulled into the drama of the world’s party.
I’m sharing more about my journey of self-discovery as I learned alongside my students in my role as a teacher.
To get details about my personal journey, my classroom stories, and even entire chapters of my book for no cost, click here to receive it all straight to your inbox 💌
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