How to Live a Creative Life Rooted in Your Truth: Life Lessons I Learned From Writing My First Book
When I set out on this path to become an author, I never thought about anyone actually reading my story.
I had the book idea. Then the outline was perfectly laid out in my head. After a few days of consideration, I decided I better start writing before the idea floated out of my mind.
I wrote for one hour each morning and the words flew out onto the page.
It was an experience of deep flow that never ran out. Every single morning for three weeks, I woke up excited to write, with the next chapter already perfectly written in my head.
As I captured the words on the page, I reprocessed the experiences that I was writing about. I felt what I needed to feel and healed any pain or resentment that I’d been holding onto.
Writing my book felt so natural, so right, and I felt like a better person on the other side.
Now for me, that was the easy part. Once I decided to commit to writing every day, the actual task was a breeze.
Once the book was complete… That’s where my trouble began.
Now I was faced with the reality that I would need to talk about my book publicly, bring awareness to it, then actually sell it to people who will read it…
So much shame and vulnerability came up at just the thought of telling anyone what my book was about… Someone actually reading all the intimate details of this specific time in my life was debilitating.
All my life I’ve been labeled the shy, quiet, obedient girl and I still felt some need to live up to that perception of me.
Showing up in my truth, and sharing my experience felt scary because it might not match up to the version that others view me as.
The way I felt while writing was the only thing I needed to convince me that this book needed to be out in the world.
Whether I help just one person, or I get bombarded with hate and criticism, I knew whatever came from this would make me a better person.
I want to be a writer. And there’s no better time to become one than right now.
Done Is Better Than Good
So many writers and creatives stay small by trying to perfect their work.
Once I finished my book, I was happy with it.
It felt finished. I felt like I was ready to let it free and move on to my next creative endeavor…
But as I reread, edited, and thought about putting it out for others to read… My perfectionism kicked into high gear.
What makes you think you’re qualified to talk about this…
Who do you think you are?
You’re not a writer.
This book sucks.
All of these negative thoughts worked overtime trying to keep me small and comfortable.
Here’s the truth.
Anytime you do something new, you have to jump outside of your comfort zone. And your brain doesn’t like that.
Your brain wants to keep you safe… But in the process of staying safe, you stay the same.
If you want a new career, new relationship, new experience, new anything… You have to get uncomfortable. When that happens, you learn to navigate the new, which propels you to massive growth.
When I think back to my first day of high school, first day as a gymnastics coach, first day as a teacher…
I was terrified! Every. Single. Time.
I didn’t want to do it. I wanted to stay home. I wanted to stay in bed… Comfortable.
So why is it that once we get a little bit of “success”, then we stop?
You get the job that you went to college for, then you stop getting uncomfortable and never question if you’re actually happy where you settled in at.
Children are pushed and encouraged to try, fail, try again, and grow. Adults are meant to keep growing too.
If you want a different life, it’s time to get uncomfortable.
Once I realized this fact. I jumped on board.
Okay, you’re publishing this book, and since you’re going for it… You’re going for it big!
Confidence as a Beginner… Is It Possible?
The one mindset shift that helped me brave this new path was the shift from feeling like an imposter to owning that I am a beginner.
I learned this from Mel Robbins’ Podcast and it helped me not feel so overwhelmed by this new path.
When you’re stepping into a new space, and you don’t know what you’re doing, and you’re afraid others who know more than you in that space are going to figure out that you don’t know what you’re doing…
This is called imposter syndrome.
So many people stop and are consumed by this feeling and it throws a real wrench in your dreams.
Instead of being afraid of “being found out”, instead, just own where you’re at.
The first time I posted publicly about my book wasn’t me trying to look like the most professional author.
I simply posted about how I’m trying something new. I’m excited and nervous to share this new journey. I’m thankful for the opportunity to learn and grow from others who have done the thing I’m trying to do.
I owned the fact that I’m a beginner, which is true. I’ve never done this before but I’m sharing that I’m publishing my first book.
Boom.
It feels good! And people who are well-experienced in the field you’re moving into are much more likely to work with you and share advice when you approach it that way which could fast-track your growth.
Now as far as confidence… Shifting to this mindset of owning the stage you’re at is about as close to feeling confident as you can get as a beginner.
Confidence is truly gained from doing.
Because even though it felt better to not feel like an imposter… I still felt nervous every time I shared publicly about my book.
The more I post about it. The more I talk about it. The more I write. And the more books I publish, the more confidence I’ll gain in my skills as an author.
If you’re waiting for the day that you finally feel confident to go after your dream… You’ll be waiting forever.
Just try now. The more reps you get in, the more confidence you’ll gain.
Dealing With Criticism
What if people make fun of me?
What if people don’t agree with my perspective?
What if no one reads it?
Okay… What if… It all works out?
What if it changes your life for the better?
What if your bravery helps people?
What if it moves you in the direction of your dream life?
Shifting your “what if” thoughts that are filled with fear and doubt to the “what if it all works out?” perspective is so much more helpful.
If you don’t believe in yourself and become your own biggest cheerleader, then you’ll allow fear of criticism to keep you small.
Understand that in sharing your truth, you are not out to hurt anyone.
Today, people feel entitled to silence anyone who has a different perspective than them. Knowing this helps you realize that any negative feedback is just someone seeing the world differently than you do.
If someone disagrees or doesn’t understand your side, that’s okay. You don’t need to overexplain or get defensive.
Coming from the energy of, “This is my experience at a specific time in my life” relieves you of the pressure of having to please everyone.
If someone gets upset about your experience, you can ask them questions to understand their perspective, but their perspective doesn’t have to change yours.
Those of you who choose to stay quiet in order to keep the peace… Who’s peace are you keeping?
Not your own.
Sharing your truth has the power to heal yourself and others. That’s something worth putting out there.
Creative Living
As I continue writing and creating, each new project builds my resumé and my confidence.
Being “selfish” by living a life that pleases me is not a bad thing.
Many of us grew up with a belief that taking care of others is what you’re here to do.
What I’ve learned is that you can’t heal, help, or take care of anyone else if you’re constantly putting yourself last.
Everyone is seeing the world from their individual perspective. Sharing yours is not a threat to anyone.
If you allow fear to push off your dreams, you’re hurting yourself and those who are desperate to hear your story.
To follow along on my creative journey, connect with me here.
To learn more about my first book, launching January 1, 2024, click here.
Rooting for you,
🤍 Jaclyn
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